Teen Mom 2 Season 8 Episode 13
"On the Mend"
Previously on Teen Mom 2-
Barb can’t pronounce LGBT.
Jenelle-
We open on a replay of the phone call Jace made to Barb. This was when Jenelle was refusing to film, so they likely had to stretch out what they had. Jenelle asks Jace to tell Mémé to meet them at the gas station.
Jenelle says she is shaken up and now she has to bring Jace back to her mom. What do you think shook up Jenelle the most?
A) Almost veering off the road
B) Her child almost suffering injuries
C) Her car getting damaged
D) David disagreeing with her
E) Having to face her mother at the drop-off
Answer in the comments!
At the gas station, Jace is showing Barbara the damage to the car. She is feigning interest in the scratches. She tells Jenelle that the only thing that is going to cost her money is repairing the light. Jenelle is giving her this face that I can only describe as dead-eyed until those eyes spring to life and she rolls her eyes and shakes her head. Her mother is the one not taking this situation seriously enough, obviously.
“Did you pull a gun out on him?” Barbara asks surprisingly calmly. “No!” Jenelle answers instantly. “That’s what he’s telling me.” says Barb as she gestures toward her grandson. “No, I didn’t, Jace. Why are you telling Mémé I pulled a gun out on him?”
UH, BECAUSE YOU DID?!?
Jenelle moves the subject to a different gun. Some kind of Nerf gun with a laser that doesn’t work. She insists that he take it home. Barbara is hesitant because she doesn’t want Jace terrorizing her dog Max with it. And you know, maybe giving him a gun right now would be sending a mixed message. Jenelle says Jace is complaining that he doesn’t have one at home. I’m pretty sure that is deliberate, Jenelle. She tells her that she should just keep it since he will be going to her house tomorrow. Jenelle is really pushing this thing. You would think that she would be happy to hear her mother confirm that she won’t be preventing her from seeing her son. But her primary parenting skill seems to be buying things, so she is insistent that he must have it.
Jenelle gets out of the car to give Jace a hug. His body language makes it clear he wants nothing to do with this hug. Why would he? She just called him a liar. Jenelle says “I’m sorry that happened,” taking zero percent responsibility for her actions. She gets back in the car and Barbara says what every good mother says after their kid gets into an accident. “The main thing is that you didn’t get hurt.” “And that he didn’t shoot your brains out.” A less common statement. “Don’t follow those rednecks!” The problem is that she followed a redneck down the aisle. Jenelle smugly counters “I’m protected all the time.” But you didn’t pull your gun on him.
“That’s not the point, Jenelle. You had Jace in the car.” Says everyone internally and Barbara vocally. Jenelle says that you shouldn’t tailgate people (true), especially and mother and child. How would the guy in the truck know that she had Jace in the car? Her windows are tinted and he’s sitting in the front seat. He’s too small to see from behind. I’m pretty sure that the guys said in his statement that he backed off when she pulled the gun because he saw Jace in the car. Not that it matters or that it makes anything right. If she wanted to protect her child, she would have let him pass or pulled over.
Barbara tells her to keep him in the back and Jenelle pulls away. I’m impressed with how calm Barbara is during this whole thing. Maybe she is in shock. More likely, she is trying to remain calm so that Jace doesn’t get more upset.
I’m seeing that many people can’t believe that Jenelle called Jace a liar. I’m not surprised. Disgusted? Yes. Jenelle is a pathological liar. She just put on a performance for the cop. This is just Act Two where she needs to discredit Jace to try and fool her mother. It doesn’t matter to Jenelle that there’s video.
I would bet a large sum of money that I don't have that production called Barbara and told her everything. I’m pretty sure this is something they have to do legally, like when Jenelle and David absconded with Jace at the reunion. Honestly, I think they also have walkie-talkies in the cars during filming. I wouldn’t at all put it past them to tell Jace to call Barb. I hope they did. Someone should have been keeping Jace occupied in that car with a loaded gun in it. My point is, Jenelle has never really had to own up to the consequences of her actions in a major way. She lives in her own reality where what she believes and says is the truth. Anyone who questions her or disagrees with her is wrong. Even her own child.
Over at Barb’s house, the phone is ringing. It’s Nathan because now these two are best friends. That’s something I didn’t expect to see. Barbara says she’s shaken and she needed to call and tell him. He called her though. Is he calling her back or did Kristen set this up? My money is on the latter considering this was during the time Jenelle was refusing to finish the season without David.
She retells the story, bringing up the obvious alternative Jenelle ignored, pulling over and letting him go. Then she says my favorite line in the whole episode. “Guess what Jenelle did. You ready to throw up?” Never change Barb, never change. I love you just the way you are. She tells Nathan about the gun. Nathan has either already heard this story or is not as upset as he should be based on his tone. If you were in Jenelle’s life, would you be surprised? I’m trying to remember my initial reaction to this story. I don’t think I was surprised. I think I was utterly disgusted. I guess I’ll give the bodybuilder a slight break on this one.
Barbara is still pretty upset about this, as she should be, even if she is retelling this story. People are freaking out about her stream of consciousness worst-case scenarios that she lists off because she says something like “what if the bullet went through Jenelle and hit Jace.” Some are taking this to mean that Barb doesn’t care about Jenelle.
We know this isn’t true. How many times has Barbara given Jenelle chance after chance after chance? How many times has she bailed her daughter out of a mess? How often has she blindly blamed Jenelle’s current soulmate for everything going wrong in Jenelle’s life? She loves her daughter. She’s just pissed that once again Jenelle wasn’t putting Jace above herself. Jace is an innocent here. He isn’t old enough to protect himself or understand the severity of the situation.
“I’m thinking to myself, ‘holy crap, we’ve got to get these kids out of this house. Because this is too bad. It’s too bad.’” There it is. The reason for the unlikely Barbara-Nathan alliance. Notice she says kids. Not just Jace. Not just Kaiser. She doesn’t mention Ensley specifically, but I think that is because there’s no way that David’s mother is going to go against her son.
She says she has called her attorney because who the hell wouldn’t. Nathan says he wouldn’t let Jace go back. Barb tells him she has to let him go so that she doesn’t violate the custody agreement. Nathan says he is shaking, but he sounds like he gives zero fucks. Now Barb does mention Kaiser specifically and she says she is going to text Nathan her lawyer’s information. He definitely needs a better lawyer than he had to go up against Dustin or Blonde Freddy Krueger.
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| One, two, Freddy's coming for you! |
Dramatic music ensues as we get some very social media friendly photos of Jenelle and the kids. Jenelle says they couldn’t film Jace’s weekend visit because David was there. She says that she is bringing Jace back to her mom today.
Cut to Barb in a floral mini skirt in the parking lot. Get it, girl! Find that rich old man with a boat!
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| These pictures were taken with a baked potato, sorry! |
She walks over to Kristen. I think she’s lost weight from all the stress of her job. Kristen asks if she has talked to Jenelle. Barbara says no and sassily replies that when she talks to Jenelle she’ll say, “I’ll see you in court, honey.” Not the best way to de-escalate the situation there, Barbarino.
She says she just wants to get him home where she knows he is safe. We ALL want Jace to be safe at Barb’s house. The car pulls up and they see David inside. It’s a really simple thing, Easons. He’s not allowed to film. Not that being alone with Jenelle is any safer, but she needs to put on her big girl panties and drive to the gas station by herself. The security guard and wedding officiant who’s name I forget (Andre?) walks towards the car. Kristen tells the crew to stop filming.
Jenelle says in a pissy voice that David isn’t allowed to film, and she agreed to film a special at a hotel. I can’t tell by looking at it which special it was. She says the shoot went well, but she’s annoyed that she had to come to do her job all by herself. Kristen asks if it has been awkward filming without David. Jenelle says David WILL film the next season or she is NOT doing it. She’ll go do her own thing (like Sophia Abraham) and she will get out of her contract.
“Best believe it. Mark my fucking words. Not doing it.” This is me marking her words for when she gives in. “That’s my husband. He’s going to be here forever. What do they think, that I’m just going to break up with David just to do the rest of the show?” Literally no one told you that you had to divorce your husband. They just said he couldn’t be filmed. If someone was paying me the money they are paying her, I’d make time in my schedule to film without my non-husband lobster. And he would be like, “have a great day, make that money!”
Here comes my second favorite line of the episode:
“I have people offering me stuff for Netflix and Amazon.”
No way that is happening. This is a full-blown Pete’s Dragon misunderstanding at best. For those of you who have no idea what I am talking about, let me paint you a picture.
When Disney’s Pete’s Dragon CGI reboot premiered, Jenelle and David went to California for the premiere, or so they thought. This was when UBT was Jenelle’s manager. They left Jace and Kaiser at home and took along Ensley, as Jenelle was pregnant with her but denied it. Jenelle posted it to her social as her “LA Adventure” documenting her getting herself getting ready. Professional hair and makeup, fancy dress, first-class airfare, the works. They show up to the premiere, only it’s not a premiere. It’s an advanced screening. Open to the public. Then they went to an arcade and UBT takes a picture of her wearing socks, dress dragging on the ground holding a Stewie Griffin doll he won her from a claw machine. I could not find a picture of that (because she deleted everything), but I did find this gallery on Radar Online:
Oh, wait, I am being handed exclusive documents containing the offers Jenelle received from Netflix and Amazon.
I stand corrected. She really is an A-list celebrity. Maybe even the #2 female celebrity in the nation. Here she is with the top female celebrity in the nation:
“If people think that I am going to travel without my security blanket there, then they’re fucking crazy.” If codependency had a tagline, this would be it. “I’m not even comfortable here in Wilmington alone without David.” Oh, grow the hell up. She gets in the car, never to be seen again? She tweeted that she is stuck in her contract and turning down offers despite not filming. So much for breaking your contract there, “Janny.”
Leah-
Leah and Ali are at a rental house near Dr. Tsao’s office and Leah is trying to get Ali to eat breakfast. She’s not too interested because she isn’t feeling well again. Some rando friend of Leah’s shows up. If she’s been on before, I don’t remember her. I don’t know why she needs this friend to come with her for this. These girls always bring support groups with them for every little thing. They talk about the sleep study and Ali says it is not fun. I had one done a few years ago and it sucked. I woke up 20 times that night. The music choice, while they leave, is poor. “So why won’t you just stay here just one more day?” Why would they stay in their rental house longer than they need to? Or are they implying Ali needs to stay on the earth one more day? Dark.
It’s time to see everyone’s favorite medical professional! They sit in the waiting room and Leah calls Corey. Corey says that he talked to the school and Ali will have an aide for the rest of the school year. It’s next year that the aide will be dropped. Leah is contacting her lawyer to fight it which is the right call. Does anyone else get the feeling that the principal is being rude to Leah because of the whole bringing the kids to school late because of her “anxiety and depression?”
They are brought back to the room and they have the same basic discussion. Leah says Ali uses the power wheelchair, but sometimes she doesn’t want to use it. Dr. Tsao doesn’t seem to be alarmed by this. I just don’t understand one thing. Why don’t they bring the wheelchair with them to these appointments? She knows he’s going to ask about it. She knows that it will be a long day and night. She knows that Ali is going to have a sleep study-which means she’s not going to be well rested. It’s like when you make sure and floss before you go to the dentist. Sure, the dentist is probably going to see that you’re not doing it enough. You need to at least get that popcorn kernel from a week ago out and give the appearance that you’re doing it.
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| "Ali, make a POWER FIST!" |
Ali is getting set up for her sleep study. The next morning Leah is dragging her around in a butterfly pull cart. Another instance where the power wheelchair would come in real handy. Or even a regular push wheelchair. Leah gets her into the car.
Her producer says she looks upset and Leah tears up saying that she “just a little scared.” She doesn’t want Ali to see her cry. Ali did a breathing test. The normal range is 400-500. Ali only managed between 186-200. She’ll be getting a machine to strengthen her breathing by exercise. Brendan asks if this is a temporary machine or a forever machine. Leah says it is a forever machine.
Leah is scared because adults with the Titin mutation (Ali is the first and only known child case) have all presented with lung failure. She’s trying to force herself to smile as she says she doesn’t want anything to happen to her baby and that she would freak out. It comes across very strangely. She looks down at her purse and you just know she is dying to pull out a cigarette.
She gets in the car and Ali is excited about her machine. She says it looks like a robot. She’s never seen a robot up close before, but now she will. Aww. They discuss when she will need to use it. She doesn’t have to use it. Leah says they will use it as the doctors say to use it. Ali finishes the sentence “because the doctors know.” Something about the way Leah is talking to her makes me believe that she will actually force Ali to use it. We’ll see.
Chelsea-
Aubree strums a guitar while she waits for Grandma Donna to pick her up for the weekend. The next day the DeBoers are driving. Chelsea makes Cole tell her that she doesn’t look pregnant. Chelsea is looking at her phone and says, “Oh my fucking God!” Someone has sent her a picture of Adam and Aubree that was taken that day. Cole calls it a slap in the face. Chelsea looks the angriest I have seen her in I don’t know how long. She’s pissed at how defiant Adam is to post the picture on social media. I remember when the news of this broke and it pissed me off too.
Aubree is home and Chelsea says she’s really confused about seeing Adam. Chelsea dons her messiest bun and heads over to Mary’s for a chat. Mary does her best shocked “Oh my God!” reaction to the news that Adam showed up unannounced at Aubree’s grandparents’ house. She clearly already knows this information. They could have at least helped her out in editing. She’s trying her best, guys!
Chelsea says her lawyer is sending a letter asking them to review the court order which clearly states that Adam’s parents fucked up. The letter says that Chelsea will have no choice but to go back to court to terminate their grandparental rights if they violate the order again. Chelsea doesn’t want to do that, but she has to put her foot down. She’s not wrong here. They thought they could just defy the court and nothing would come of it.
Chelsea’s voiceover says that she wasn’t supposed to film that day, but “something crazy just happened.” Did Grandma Donna show up with a gun? Doubtful. She heads over to Mandy’s hotel room in her most basic bitch attire. She’s smiling like crazy.
Between filming here and in Mary’s basement, this episode really gives cadence to the Chelsea’s a slob theory. You can tell that these two really are friends in every scene they share together. Chelsea says that Donna’s car pulls up while she’s in her undies and Cole is in the bathroom dropping the kids off at the pool. I said it nicer than she did. You’re welcome.
In typical Chelsea fashion, she freaks out and refuses to answer the door. At least she admits that she’s a pussy. I said it meaner than she did. You’re welcome. By the time Prince Cole flushes and jumps on his white horse to answer the door the car is gone. Cole is pacing around the house, probably draped in the American flag, getting worked up. Then he calls her and Grandma Donna starts apologizing profusely. Chelsea says this is totally unexpected.
Donna says that everything is her fault. They got the letter and they misunderstood the order. She says there were a lot of family members there and that Adam just showed up. Mandy looks real skeptical and she’s not alone. Donna assures Chelsea that Aubree was safe. Cole told Donna that they don’t want to confuse Aubree and she apologized some more saying it won’t ever happen again.
Look, I know Chelsea doesn’t want to keep Aubree from seeing her grandparents if she can avoid it. I’ll also buy that Adam’s behavior is so unpredictable that they weren’t sure he was going to show up. But come on. It was a holiday. I’m sure he was invited over or it was a standing family tradition. This would 500% happen again if they knew they wouldn’t get caught. They don’t even believe Adam is doing drugs. I don’t know how anyone could misunderstand that order. She’s obviously kissing ass now that she realizes her time with Aubree is in jeopardy.
Kail-
Raccoons doing karate. I don’t get why they are raccoons. This has to be an inside joke with Kail and the production team. Just replace all of Javi’s scenes with the raccoons. I don’t care.
Jo is driving Isaac to Jiu Jitsu. There’s never enough Jo, but I’m pretty sure this is the last non-reunion scene we’ll get of him since he is leaving the show. Supposedly, Jo, Vee, Vivi, Isaac, and Lux will no longer be shown. I don’t know how Kail’s going to show off her many photoshoots with the boys. Will it just be her and Lincoln and everyone else’s face will be blurred?
The next day at Kail’s Lux has a half Pebbles style ponytail and Kail’s hair is a beautiful rose pink that I want on my head. Kail says she signed the papers to (finally) share 50-50 custody with Jo. She says she didn’t want to sign them because no parent would want to lose time. However, she knows Jo is capable of taking care of Isaac. I don’t have kids, but I don’t see why anyone in this day and age would expect to have anything other than 50-50 custody when there are two good parents. The way she says it comes across as greedy, but maybe she is just being really honest.
Raccoons in a water tower. OK.
The boys are crawling around, and it is cute. Isaac says he can stay home “with the kids.” Kail laughs and says that they would probably destroy the house. Isaac counters that they wouldn’t, they would just watch tv and play with the baby. “Eat all the snacks…” Kail continues. Isaac laughs and says “Yeah, that’s true.” He’s my favorite kid and I am going to miss him. I might have to follow Kail’s Instagram now, but I don’t want to.
Javi comes over to Kail’s house to talk shit on Briana and make a booty call. He says she is dressed up and kisses her on the cheek. Stahp! He plunks himself down on the couch like this is his house, because it was.
Thanks to the eagle-eyed person on a Facebook group I am in who pointed this out so I could look out for it:
Bahahaha!
Javi says he was haunted by Miami. That will happen when you’re surrounded by witches. His eyes light up when he talks about it being “a drama show in real life” that he’d never experienced before. I imagine when this is all finally over Javi joins a local theater troupe in Dover.
Kail’s mouth hangs open as Javi says that he left because Roxy said that he was using Briana for fame. I really hope that Kail is more surprised that someone called him out than the accusation. She asks about Devoin. I wouldn’t put it past Kail to hook up with Devoin to get even with Briana.
Javi continues to spew his horseshit and Kail rolls her eyes along with the viewers at home. She says she’s going to be honest and that she doesn’t understand why he went to Miami to take care of a bitch that doesn’t give a fuck about him. Javi says the magic words: “you’re right.” “I’m sorry.” “At the end of the day, you and me are going to have a good relationship. Whoever I am with needs to have a good relationship with you. Thank you for having my back.” Does anyone hear a loud sucking sound? Kail seems skeptical. We haven’t heard much about a relationship between Kail and Lauren (Javi’s second baby mama). I don’t think they are BFFs yet.
Briana-
Briana says that she hasn’t heard from Javi since he left. Quell surprise. Devoin starts the conversation for the cameras. Roxanne says she thought he was coming back. Briana refers to her by her first name and says that she knows that wasn’t true. She says she was fine. Roxanne says she wasn’t. Briana was totally whining like a baby, but she was drugged up. This is a tie in my book.
Briana says that Javi leaving is Roxanne’s fault. Roxanne asks if she wants Javi there. Briana says no and that it’s too late anyway. Roxanne says that Javi will be there in two seconds if she wants him there. Javi would be there in two seconds as long as the camera crew is there.
Then Briana says that she is mad that Devoin is there right in front of Devoin. Rude. I am honestly so Team Devoin right now. I know he makes a lot of messes for himself, but I feel like 90% of him not being around for Nova is down to the DeJesus family. You can tell he has learned that he has to play nice and keep his mouth shut if he wants any contact with his daughter.
It’s time for another new word for our Teen Mom dictionary!
bom·barge
verb
/bämˈbärj/
1. Like bombard but for stupid people.
“You just don’t bombard anybody in here.”
Roxanne says Briana can’t tell her what to do. Briana starts crying. I do not understand why Briana doesn’t take her Teen Mom money and get her own place instead of spending it on new body parts. Roxanne tells Briana to cut the shit and just make up her mind about whether or not she wants Javi there.
Briana’s nurse, Cotara, is also sitting here for this awkwardness. That poor woman. Shirley is wearing an Abraham Lincoln shirt, which makes me laugh because my friend refers to Lincoln as Abraham Lincoln. It’s another crossover!
The DeJesus clan sans Briana piled back into the Kia and headed home. You guys, I am so sick of writing about this Miami trip. It’s been three or four episodes now and I am over it. After much ado, Dre FINALLY shows up. About fucking time. He has a man bun and says the flight was amazing. There's no such thing in my opinion, but maybe he got flown out first-class. I highly doubt it. You can see Shirley’s drain as she walks around in her Lincoln tee. They are still talking about wiping asses and I am thankful that I am not eating right now. We get it, you had your butts done!
They leave to go out to eat and both of the girls sit down like old ladies on their expensive new butt cheeks. Briana is wearing Javi’s shirt. Maybe she was actually into him. If you are still in love with a guy, you want to wear his shirt. When you’re pissed at them, you throw it in a bonfire and watch it burn. I know I’m not the only one.
Dre is giving advice and Shirley seems irritated that Briana seems more receptive to Dre saying the same things she has said. We didn’t really hear much from Dre at the baby shower, but so far, I like him. He says Briana should help Devoin if she can as long as he is making an effort with Nova. Which is exactly what Roxanne said, but I get why it’s better coming from an outside party. Roxanne decided to have Devoin over without talking to Briana about it first. She doesn’t respect her daughters and she manipulates them constantly. I highly recommend watching the season of VH1’s Family Therapy that the DeJesus family is on. You will not see Roxanne in the same light after.
Briana says she wants to talk to him but thinks she is going to sound rude. Umm, too late. She says he still doesn’t have a job, a car, or money and he will just be another body in the house. I thought he was just staying for a week or two, but I guess he is moving in. There is not enough room in that fucking apartment for all these people. Someone move out already!
I really want to know the story of Briana’s father. They speak of him fondly and I think that is why they are willing to give Devoin a second chance. Where is he though? Is he dead? That would be my guess. Someone get on this!
Dre is driving the girls home from Miami as the sun finally sets on this goddamn storyline. Briana is excited to see her girls but nervous to see Devoin. Nova left her book for her sight words (whatever that means) at school. Devoin tells her to come to him and she gives him an attitude and looks grumpy. He calls her out on it saying that he would get a whooping while she’s playing with horses and getting mad at him. He says he’s not mad, but he knows she is smarter than to forget her homework. She is still mean mugging. Brittany has taught her well
Two hours later, Briana is home. Brittany says she is tapping out. Tap out all the way to your own apartment Brittany. Briana counters that she can’t do anything. Brittany says that’s not her fault. Seriously, Brittany, this will be your life if you don’t get your own place. Brittany says that Briana’s ass looks the same.
Briana goes into her room and starts to fold laundry. Devoin tries to make the bed. It’s time for their talk. She asks what Devoin’s goals are. He says he is planning on moving into his own place, but he is waiting on the rest of the money. Hopefully, he gets a check for these past couple episodes. He says he still partially has one of his jobs. Whatever that means. He says he wants to try and get a serving job so that he can get money coming in quickly. I’d be trying to get money quickly to get out of that apartment with six people living in it.
He says he appreciates Briana’s offer to let him stay there and help. Briana had nothing to do with it, but ok. She says she appreciates him helping with Stella. He says they are a package deal now. Briana looks at him with more love in that moment than she looked at Javi the entire time she was dating him. Devoin says he likes hanging out with Stella because he gets to see a lot that he missed out on from when Nova was a baby. Briana starts to cry and grabs NOVA’S UNDERWEAR to wipe her tears. THAT’S HOW YOU GET PINKEYE BRIANA!
Briana says that Devoin is welcome to stay as long as he needs if he keeps being there for Nova. “And before, I was like ‘Fuck Devoin’” She wipes the inside of her nose with the underwear. You better throw those back in the washing machine and buy some tissues. “Nova, like, needs you, like…” Briana says as Devoin finishes up with “I need her.”
The season closes with the traditional sepia-toned montage of each girl’s family. We actually see Miranda briefly! Nathan is included for some reason- cough, lack of content, cough. He’s sitting with his girlfriend and a white Pitbull. Oh good, another responsible individual with a bully breed. Where’s Moogan the husky? #savealltheteenmompets
What a boring episode. I had to watch this twice over the course of a week to write this recap. The things I do for you guys. All five of you. This season as a whole was a letdown. I’ll be recapping the Dr. Drew snooze fest, parts one and two.
I’m going to back and recap the previous episodes of the season before I started writing these up. If nothing else is on for a while I will go back and recap Young and Pregnant. If I can get through all that before a new season of OG starts up, I’ll be amazed.
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